Ellen's Chili

11   jiggers bourbon
11   glasses ice cubes
1     Can Chili 

Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Pour Bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Read
Directions on chili can.  Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Open chili
can.  Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Put Band-aid on finger.  Pour
bourbon over ice.  Drink.   Pour chili into saucepan.  Pour bourbon
over ice.  Drink.  Get chili can out of trash.  Re-read directions.
Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Turn range burner on.   Pour bourbon
over ice.  Drink.  Stir chili.  Look closely at black stuff sticking
to spoon.   Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Look closely at black
chunks floating in chili.  Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Turn off
range.  Pour chili into trashcan.  Pour bourbon over ice.  Drink.  Go
to bed.